I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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