Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
