I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize