your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
