I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
