dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
