we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
