i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
