I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
