there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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