Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
