all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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