ttyl tear gas
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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