Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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