That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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