I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
