dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
