Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
