my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
