I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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