my mouth tastes like poor choices
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
