you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
