I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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