i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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