I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
