No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
