i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize