I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm passing your future prison.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
