found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
