dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
