It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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