My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
bring money and cleavage
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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