thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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