Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
