She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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