I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
