He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
