My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
