just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
