WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
