Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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