Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
