I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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