bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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