I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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