But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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