Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize