What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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