I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
