when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
