You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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