It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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