Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
