Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize