No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
