You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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