..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
