I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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