She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
