I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Me. At least after what I've been through.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize