I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
