Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
