I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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