Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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