I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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