ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
