dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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