She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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