I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
