You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
